Twist my Heart and Break my Will
by Trunks lil' sis
Summary: Late one night Elk and Kite find each other in a vacant area of 'The World'. For once the tables will be turned and Kite will have to rely on someone to make it through his inner demons. But first he'll have to learn how to let someone help him.


Twist My Heart And Break My Will  
By: Trunks Lil Sis  
Summary: Late one night Elk and Kite find each other in a vacant area of 'The World'. For once the tables will be turned and Kite will have to rely on someone to make it through his inner demons. But first he'll have to learn how to let someone help him.  
Rating: Pg-13  
  
  
  
Twist My Heart And Break My Will:  
  
It was quite late in real world time when a young male became restless. Tossing and turning in his bed had caused him nothing but frustration, and his mind became deadlocked. So hard as he tried, he could not rid his mind of a quandary that had been plaguing him for many nights. Finally he kicked his blankets off and sat up in bed. There was doubt he would be logged on at such a late time, but there was always that chance. He needed to find him, talk to him, and tell him.  
  
His virtual simulation appeared seconds later after initiating the process of logging on. The town was practically deserted when he stepped out of range of the Chaos Gate and clutched his staff to his side. He was glad of this though, imagining the complications of meeting Mia so late, or explaining his presence to another.  
  
After a quick inquiry he walked silently back to the Chaos Gate. He had assumed his mind would be cleared once he reached 'The World', once he was set in a situation where he had no problems and no real purpose. But in a weird fate, his mind had become more clouded then before. He was being consumed and he wasn't sure how long he could survive. It was eating him from the inside and he was ready to give in.  
  
He found Kite in a spring-like world. A strong synthetic sun above them and a soft breeze blowing around them. Kite himself was seated in a meadow, familiar flowers surrounding him, keeping him company. Elk was hesitant to approach, fearing he might disrupt the seemingly calm boy.  
  
Finally he found the courage to approach Kite, to stand just slightly behind him. He wasn't sure if Kite had detected his presence, but he didn't want to startle him by suddenly being behind him. "Are you gonna sit down?" Kite asked him suddenly, and Elk questioned how long Kite had known he was there. "Just don't sit on the flowers."   
  
Elk nestled himself into the warm grass and drew his knees up to his chest. "What are you doing out here? And so late?"   
  
"I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to have to deal with people right now." Kite kept his eyes down turned and fingers over flowers.  
  
Elk was immediately saddened and climbed to his feet. "I'm sorry, Kite. I'm gonna go now." Elk was halted by Kite's hand wrapped gently but firmly around his wrist.  
  
"Stay please," Kite asked him, turning blue eyes onto lavender. "Please?"   
  
Elk offered him a small smile and dropped back to the false earth. "What's bothering you?" He asked timidly, not wanting to upset the boy again. "Is it something I can help with?" Kite shook his head and lifted it, red puffy eyes finally in complete view and tear tracks on his cheeks. "Kite! You've been crying!" He stated the obvious jumping to his knees and leaning towards Kite. He held his hands on the side of Kite's face and forced him to stare strait ahead. "Why are you crying?" His own voice broke and he was confused to find himself close to tears.  
  
"I'm crying," He forced Elk's hands away and wiped his tears away. "I'm crying because I don't know what else to do. I've tried other things, honestly I have. But crying seems to be the best of all of them. I like to cry right now."  
  
Elk shook his head quickly and wrapped his arms around Kite. "Please don't cry. Be strong, you're always so strong."  
  
Elk was knocked back onto his behind as Kite climbed angrily to his feet. "Don't you ever think I get tired of that? I'm the one everyone runs to when problems come up. I'm the person who is supposed to fix everything and I'm supposed to be the strong one. Everyone relies on me! What if I don't want to be relied on?! What happens when the time comes when I need someone to be there for me?! I'll tell you what, there won't be anyone." Kite sniffled as the tears stopped and his hands unclenched. "I always have to be there for everyone," He continued in a much softer voice. "But there's never anyone there for me."  
  
"That's not true," Elk told him. "In battle Mia is there for you, or BlackRose or anyone else you put in your party. They'd never run away. And in the real world, what about your parents? Friends?"  
  
"It's not the same, and you know it." Kite looked away towards a distant lake. "It can never be the same, and it's because of this stupid thing." He held up his wrist, knowing it was invisible to his own eyes, and Elk's as well. "I'm supposed to be alone, I really think I am. It's my job to make sure everyone is okay, that they don't get deleted, or put into comas. I'm supposed to protect them, but I get so lonely."  
  
Elk lifted himself from the ground. "Kite, you're not alone. You couldn't be alone if you wanted to."  
  
Kite lifted his cap and ran a hand through his sky blue hair. "You don't understand, Elk, and you'll never understand. It's a different kind of lonely. I can't share the power that I've got in 'The World' and I can't share the pain it brings me."  
  
Elk wandered to Kite's side, his own eyes taking in the features of 'The World'. "You can share anything you want to. You're a person Kite, a person. And being such you're entitled to do what you need to. We all feel pain at times, all of us become depressed, and want to give up, but we don't. We don't because we have someone to look to, someone we rely on. It just happens to be you for everyone here, we all depend on you because we believe in you."  
  
"Yeah, well no one ever asked me. I need help at times, not someone to stand next to me in battle but inevitably need my help at the end. There are times when I need someone to help me and not need help themselves. I need someone to depend on. I'm just a kid who got caught up in all this stuff, and it's going faster then I can keep up. I can't ask someone to be the person I rely on, and they can't offer. There is going to be a day that comes where I'll need help and no one will be there for me. I'm going to be deleted, and then no one can rely on me, and I don't know if that's good or bad. I'm a no body, and if you rely on a person like me, you'll get hurt eventually."  
  
"You're wrong!" Kite had never witnessed Elk angry before, and he was a bit unsettled standing next to the male with anger radiating off of him. "You're so wrong you don't know what you're talking about. You're not a no body, and you'll never be a no body. You're special; you'd have to be to make a difference here. Because people don't care about anything here, but they care about you." Elk placed a hand on Kite's shoulder. "But do you know what you're most wrong about?" Elk asked him, a small smile on his features.   
  
"I bet you're going to tell me."  
  
Elk nodded. "Any one can offer to be there for you. Anyone can be there for you, as long as they mean it. And I mean it."  
  
Kite frowned and shook his head. "I won't let you. Like I said earlier, I can't ask it, and I can't let anyone offer it. Because those times when I'll need someone won't be pretty. I'm going to need someone when I can't hold myself up, when I can't believe in myself. And you can't be that person. So just walk away now and we'll forget you ever showed up. It's late and you should be sleeping."  
  
Kite's eyes widened suddenly and he felt himself paralyzed. Arms fell limply at his side and he became aware of only one thing. Elk, the sweet and innocent male who was always a little unsure of himself, was kissing him. The hidden object of his desire was kissing him and he didn't know what to do. His head was spinning and his heart was racing.  
  
When Elk pulled away, Kite collapsed down to the imitation grass in a haze. His back fell flat on the green substance and his eyes went to the sky and the figure of Elk standing over him. "Are you okay?" The blue haired boy asked hesitantly. Kite nodded, trying to regain some of his senses.   
  
Elk offered his hand down to Kite but was instead pulled down into Kite's embrace. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into." Kite told him, propping himself up on one elbow. "So don't you dare do this to me unless you really want to. I can't take my heart being broken, and I won't let it happen." Kite collapsed back down to the grass flat, to let Elk make his decision.  
  
"I know what I'm getting into, and I'd never hurt you intentionally. You can depend on me and I'll never leave your side. You can count on me because I'm stronger then I seem and I'll be able to hold you up. But only if you continue to help the people in 'The World', because they need you Kite. You're the only thing they have left when the times get hard." Elk rested his head on Kite's chest and breathed deeply. "We'll hold each other up."  



End file.
